btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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