What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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