dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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