yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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