Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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