i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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