He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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