I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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