why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize