I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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