Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I want a musical about memes.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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