im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
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I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
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Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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