Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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