it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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