PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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