There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize