why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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