My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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