Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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