I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
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I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
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In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize