A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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