I just made out with a guy for $7.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
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I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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