If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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