after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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