It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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