and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
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It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
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He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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