There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize