yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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