So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize