Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize