Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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