im drinking this country out of the recession.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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