Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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