I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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