You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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