these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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