My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize