He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
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i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
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Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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