This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
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He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
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Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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