I wish my penis had an off switch
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize