you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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