I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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