God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize