Are we in a gay sports bar?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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