Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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