I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize