So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm sobbing to NWA
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize