And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
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Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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