so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize