no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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